John's Massive Burgers
The first time Rachel and I met John
socially was at a charity rubber duck race,
where he was running a burger stall.
As I recall, the burgers were rather nice, though obviously I was seriously distracted by all the rubber ducks swimming around unsupervised.
Today he told me all about the rather nice burger he'd knocked up for dinner,
and since the horseradish sounded interesting I thought I'd write it up, together with the stew he made the weekend before.
John's Massive Burgers
main snack meat
Serves One Massive Burger Eater
a massive fluffy white bun
a slice of Jarlsberg
C'mon - you know what to do - it's a burger ffs.
John's Beef Stew
main meat stew
This recipe is written as dictated, so you will have to forgive the colloquialisms - the poor boy is a local you know.
some nice cubed stewing steak - big thick bits
baby pearl potatoes
loads of onions (two of the buggers)
wee bit of garlic (natch)
wee spot of Dijon mustard
a handful of wee button mushrooms
a wee touch of paprika for colouring
Brown the steak (with no flour) - adding a wee spot of mustard and just two cloves of garlic,
crushed and wheeched back out - really just to flavour the oil a little.
Cut one of the onions in quarters, and the other very finely chopped to thicken the stew.
Soften the chopped onion.
Add some beef shin stock, a dash of Chilean Merlot, paprika, mushrooms, onion quarters and the vegetables.
John also threw in some shitake mushrooms but noted that he thought you should use
a bit less of the shitake - they didn't work too well as I only have them dried.
I rehydrated them in on their own in the stock while I was bringing it up to temperature.
And that was really about it - except I put a couple of dumpling in in the last twenty minutes.
Just suet and water, nothing clever. Not that much flour - about 30/70, and a wee bit black pepper.
John's Pulled Pork Rub
ingredient meat crockpot
John loves to pull his pork. Aye, and here's the rub...
- 5 tbsp smoked hot paprika
- 3 tbsp sea salt flakes
- 2 tbsp cayenne pepper
- 2 tbsp ground cumin
- 2 tbsp ground black pepper
- 2 tbsp ground fennel seeds
- 2 tbsp ground coriander
- 2 tbsp dry mustard powder
Cook in slow cooker until meat falls apart at the slightest touch.
John's Tooth-Achingly Tasty Dessert
John also likes his sweet desserts. Now did he say it was tooth-achingly tasty, or just tooth-aching?
- salted peanuts
In a baking tray spread a double layer of salted peanuts, followed by a pouring of caramel and a chill in the fridge.
Then make fudge, let it cool and roll it out to the shape of the tray and lay over the caramel.
Roll up with the peanuts outwards.
Slice and eat.
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